“Enjoy Yourself, that’s what your 20s are for. Your 30s are to learn the lesson. Your 40s are to pay for the DRINKS!!!”

Resolutions from the European trip: Make more (western) European trips. Restructure my wardrobe.

Just arrived at London Heathrow and looks like the fashion standard has gone down by two or three notches. But still much higher than the standard that those obese and unfit American tourists in Milan were exhibiting – old oversized shirts and pants in unflattering peach or mint colors.

Was my hat that hot? This has dawned on me after seeing gorgeous people at Heathrow airport intensely staring at me which in my lifetime is unusual. Re-tracing the history of the hat, I bought it one afternoon in Ibiza after specifically looking for a hat. This particular hat caught my eye and bought it. Then I wore it and went people watching at a sidewalk cafe. Then I was subjected to the most lewdest and lascivious seduction by stunningly gorgeous people ala Dangerous Liaisons and Basic Instinct. If I had written about this earlier I would have mentioned the reason is because I was gawking too much. Then at Pacha nightclub in Ibiza, I wore the hat and two groups of girls went too touchy and took a picture with me like I’m some sort of celebrity and two guys on separate occasions went very touchy and intimate and asked me to share “my” drugs with them. Still not sure what’s going on. Then at Barcelona I glanced at the approaching prettiest thing in the city and the glance was returned, intensely, and with scrutiny, as if trying to recall if I was someone important and worthy of flirtation. Then, in Milan, I passed by the gates of a fashion show and was given a brochure and directed to go in while the paparazzi and onlookers were held at bay. Of course, I declined and moved away fearing I will be offered to buy haute couture worth thousands. I don’t think the hat will work its magic in red neck Calgary and will keep it for my next European trip.

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