“After youre 70, you have no interest in being sexy” – Gloria Steinem

“After 45, I have no interest in how i look” – Jay

Still riding the greyhound bus to Calgary from Edmonton and thinking mortality.

The prime reason i gave up on my farming dreams is due to my old age. Because of my supraventricular tachycardia it is hard for me to get down on a bowing planting position as i lose my breathing. And because of my plantar fascitis, it is painful for me to do short walking rounds. I wont be able to create something even by sheer hard work and determination due to the physical constraint.

And im planning to go back to the rat race, not because of the love for materiality but in order to stay relevant. There are lots of threat lurking in society that the average person has to build a war chest almost in perpetuity.

And the best way one can help others is from giving of resources acquired from your talents.

As the reality of old age has finally struck me, what are the things I should have done at a younger age? And more importantly, what will I do in perhaps the next relevant five to ten years?

My current pause in life is giving me a preview of retirement and i am not liking it. Its boring stiff. I think i will die working. I also think I am not meant to build tangible things and connections. Im here as a wanderer.

And while watching “The Lost City of Z” yesterday at an indie theatre in Edmonton, it struck me how these explorers will risk their life, their family, their youth, in search of adventure. Perhaps this is now my time. I have not much to lose.

Perhaps there is a reason why Im in Calgary after all. Northern Canada has vast barely explored territories. Or perhaps its the UFO’s in Nevada that i should dig into. Humanda sila. Lol.

So it is imperative that my next 10 years will have to be lived largely, with purpose and with zest. Stay tuned.